Thursday, January 31, 2008

Cork Players To Return To Field Under Certain Conditions

The continuing controversy raging in the Rebel County took on a new twist today ahead of the now in doubt first National League match scheduled for this weekend. In an alleged statement released just after lunchtime the Cork Senior Inter County Footballers and Hurlers have indicated that they would retake the playing field in the red jersey if the following ten conditions were met;

1. All inter-county players receive an apology from the Cork County Board for the embarrassment caused to the People of Cork for this "Laurel & Hardy" mess.

2. That all Cork matches home and away are played in Páirc Uí Chaoimh and no away supporters allowed admission to the ground.

3. The GAA rename the Sam Maguire Cup the Jack Lynch Cup.

4. The Kerry football team will play in the Ulster Championship instead of the Munster championship.

5. The Cork Hurling team get automatic qualification to the All-Ireland semi-final every year.

6. The sixth condition has been omitted for fear of any future litigation proceedings....

7. The government declare Cork city the official Capital of Ireland.

8. All future managers of the Cork teams have to undergo rigorous Psychological Assessment & in-depth Personality Profiling to see if they are up to the job. (This will take the form of having to spend hours locked in a room listening to Donal Og Cusack & Sean Og OHalpin, if they survive this they will be considered)

9. Each player is to get 4 packets of Walkers Cheese & Onion and 2 bottles of 7-up after each match.

10. Frank M. is to keep his job if he desists with the embarrassing comb-over.

The Labour Relations Chief Executive allegedly commented that "these demands seemed reasonable but that the only sticking point could be Frank M.'s hair".

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


Reasons why you should never let a bad pic of yourself get out there... It will find its way on the net and people will download it...

'and then they photoshop it...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

An American in Spain

An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing.
While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell,I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"
The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins." J

Can This Be For Real?

Now would ya be that desperate seriously......
1. She had to cut out ribs......
2. She had this done by a plastic surgeon

Anyone else reckon 'she' used to be a 'he' - just a thought...

That's Gotta Hurt!

A South African suspected thief who impaled his feet on a fence while running away from guards will appear in court once he can walk, police say. Mthandani Nqetho pierced his feet on steel spikes as he was trying to jump the fence on Friday night in Durban. He managed to free one of them, but was unable to release the other and had to hang on until morning when church goers saw him and called the rescue services. Captain Greg Bevan, who was part of the rescue team, said Mr Nqetho was in a bad way when he was found. His wrists were swollen from clinging on to the railings for so long. "People in the crowd gave him a cigarette and grapes until the rescue services arrived," he said, adding that bystanders believe he may have been there for about 12 hours.

Who Thought This Was A Good Idea??

What's the deal like...good taste prevents me from giving this pic a whole series of rather dodgy appendages..hey much like the pic itself!

Thanks to Lenny for mailing this to me before he had posted it on his blog - he who hesitates and all that!

Tragedy - When the Feelings Gone & You Can't Go On...

Monday, January 28, 2008

4 Funnies

Globe Of Death

Have a go at this one mate!

Two For The Lads (Sorry Ladies!)

Where & What Do You Reckon This Is?

Scroll down all will be revealed...

It's a feckin' prison in Austria!! Crime rates are said to be bloody wonder!!

Aliens On Acid?

It may look like the latest aliens to land on our planet have been indulging in mind-bending illegals, but these bizarre patterns, discovered in a corn field in Holland last Summer, have a much more mundane explanation. They were made by a drug user who was attempting to escape from police in his father's car. The man had been using cocaine. Four police cars were damaged in a desperate attempt to prevent the crazed driver from reaching public roads, but they could not save the crop from irrepairable damage. In the end, the man was captured when he crashed the car into a ditch.

Latest Clinton Campaign Tee Shirt

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Alien V's Predator

Foreplay Irish Style

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and then the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh.

By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself. The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.

'Why are you stopping darling?' she whispered.

He whispered back, ' I found the remote

Government Health Warning - Do Not Swallow Chewing Gum!

Euro 2008

Sadly that joke sort of applies to us too doesn't it - oh well!

Do You Like Eva's Tat?

It says nine after American football player husband Tony Parker's jersey there...

Monkey Deathwish

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Anyone Seen A Ninja Crutch Bandit?? Just wondering like...

Hate Fox News (or at least Fox's unabashed right-wing political agenda) but have to admit this package was put together well and I would have hung around to watch...look out for the spectacularly bad Ninja Crutch Bandit on the run, or should that be on the hobble, somewhere in New Mexico.

Please God Make It Pay Day Soon...

Do You Wanna Call Over 4 A Barbie?

Yes that is a powerlead balancing on two flip flops in a pool full of water...the words brains and dangerous spring to mind!!

Comments welcome below...

Someone Find That Squirrel An Irish Granny!

Carlsberg Sport - what the hell is that!

Looking For Love?

Well cop a load of this geezer!

Yu Zhenhuan, recognised in 2002 as the world's hairiest man by the Guinness Book of Records, is using an online dating agency. "I was amazed to see his picture there, since I'd been hearing he was going to get married soon. So I called the media," says the person who broke the story, and who wants to remain anonymous. Yu, 29, confirmed: "We got to know each other through the internet, and had been seeing each other for three years. Unfortunately our relationship has come to an end." And he added: "My whole body is covered with hair, and my parents are worried I won't be able to find a wife. Many girls are shocked when they see me in person. "I feel like King Kong, hideous, but with a soft and tender heart," he told Zhejiang Online.

Is There Life On Mars?

This image was taken by a NASA robot explorer...

Click on it then focus in on the apparent shape of a man strolling down the hill to get the paper or something...better suggestions of who he/she or it is and what they are up to welcome by comment below...

Get Your Motor Running!

Monday, January 21, 2008

More RVP Winners Pix

Joe O'Connell from Youghal won our RVP World Tour before Xmas and lucky girlfriend Kim got to accompany him to London to catch the Spice Girls Reunion gig at the 02 arena, then it was off to Milan to catch Maroon 5 live in concert before hightailing it to Paris to catch 'The Boss' Bruce Springsteen in action - it must have been quite the trip and tomorrow we will find out from the horses mouth so-to-speak as I will be chatting to Joe to find out how it all went - as a sneak preview check the pix...